Way Better Than Writing Essays

Me: Okay, work sucks….and if they say masturbation is like procrastination (it feels good until you realize you’re just fucking yourself) we should at least be fucking each other (or making out) if we are going to procrastinate cause that way it will feel good for both of us… ;)

Cute girl: I’m getting work done, ya slacker.

Me: That’s lame….I was coerced into the library under the pretense of a make out session…I’m prepared to leave if no make out ensues.

Cute Girl: Don’t leave.

Me: Take your top off.

Cute Girl: We are in a quiet study area. It would illicit too many screams. (of pleasure)

Me: It won’t be a quiet area for long ;)

Cute Girl: Hhmph.


Me: Tease.

Cute Girl: I am in the process of crafting the most brilliant cultural studies paper ever written.
You are a good muse though.
And good for the ego.


Me: I’m good for more than just the ego. Seriously though, making out in the library is like the holy grail of make outs…and you could count it as busting my library make out cherry…. I know you’ve been dying to bust some cherries. Furthermore like any healthy, sexually active student the library make out should be high on the list of university goals. In ten years you won’t remember this stupid CSCT paper, in ten years you will remember busting a make out cherry in the library.

Cute Girl: Brilliantly argued. A+


Me: Take your pants off. …okay, tell you what…I will write for a half hour, get a solid 500 or 600 words down on paper and then you and I can go get down in the book stacks. It’s good incentive to work.

Cute Girl: My moral systems are being compromised. I’m very confused.

Me: Let me simplify things for you….you + me = lonely. Library make out = best idea ever. Work for a bit = reward time. Reward time = library make out. Library make out = BEST IDEA EVER

...

Me: you know what the best way to celebrate the finishing of an intro to your paper is? The Library make out.

Cute Girl: I’m leaving,

Me: you suck, I need to find a more make out friendly study partner.

Cute Girl: Let’s go smoke.

Me: Then make out?

Cute Girl: I’ll think about it.




*** I have yet to start writing my paper.

Stupid library.